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. You re going to say,  Because I knew how good I had it, orsomething, aren t you?Ellis shrugged. It s the truth.I know you know, but the worldout there can be scary.There are people who don t care that you resweet and funny and adorable and sexy as hell.They ll just want touse you up until there s nothing left, take away that sweetHarteness that makes you so special.Harte was quiet for a while, and Ellis had to lean in to hear hisnext words. I thought they had already. At the Facility? And my old master.I thought they d taken& everything thatmade me who I was until I didn t even know anymore.I didn tgive up, but I wanted to.Every day.And then Master saved me.There s no other word. But you didn t let them win, did you? I would have.Eventually.No one can go on like that forever.Ellis had nothing to say to that.He was right, of course.EvenHarte would have lost himself eventually. So why are we in the forest at this hour? Ellis asked, trying tosound casual but easily hearing the knife-edge of panic in hisvoice. You re a good slave, you know, Harte said as if Ellis hadn tspoken. I know you think I am, but you re the better slave.Moreobedient, more aware of the boundaries.You help Master, but Ionly make Master help me. And this is solving that?Harte let the back of his head hit the tree trunk. No.This is mebeing selfish and self-indulgent.Ellis didn t have to agree; it was implied. Can we go back? I m scared. Because of what Sir will say? Because of what he won t say.Ellis knew then that he d been right about Harte he cravedpunishment, and he wasn t getting it, so he acted out to forceWilliam s hand. You need to trust him, Ellis insisted,  to know what youneed, to give it to you.To know you.Harte didn t say anything, but his shoulders shook and heburied his face in Ellis s chest, which became suspiciously damp. Do you want to go back now? Ellis asked.The sun hadalmost completely set, and if it hadn t been for the nearly fullmoon, the forest would have been too dark to navigate.As it was,the trees overhead made the light scarce enough to worry Ellis. Yeah.Do you think Master will be angry with me?I hope so, Ellis thought.For your sake. You ll be in goodcompany, he said wryly, though he wasn t concerned abouthimself.Any punishment incurred was deserved.He should havetold Nell.And it was worth it, for who knew what might havehappened to Harte if Ellis hadn t gone after him.Harte stood abruptly. I won t let you get in trouble!Ellis accepted the proffered hand and lurched to his feet, whichwere agonizingly sore. Harte, you ll do nothing, you hear me?Nothing to stop Sir from doing whatever he deems fit to us.If youever want things to get better between the two of you, you need tosubmit and mean it. I do mean it! he cried, stumbling a little and letting Ellisbalance him. Maybe you think you do, but there s more to it than justoffering yourself. Oh, and you re going to tell me everything I m doing wrong,right? Harte said, sneering a little, the look marring his prettyfeatures.Ellis grabbed his hand.He wasn t going to fight with Harte inthe middle of the forest. No.I ll give you advice if you ask, butI m not going to criticise you.I think you know what you need todo, really.Capitulating easily, Harte squeezed his hand.They walked insilence before Harte blurted out,  I m sorry I said you weredisloyal.When Gabriel left.Ellis had pushed that to the back of his mind.It had stung morethan he d thought possible, coming from another slave.If themaster had said it, he would have been devastated.But hearing itfrom Harte hurt almost as much, and that surprised him. Did you mean it? At the time, Harte whispered. At that moment, I hated you.Ithought you just wanted Gabriel to leave because you never& youknow, touched him.I thought you hated him.But you didn t, didyou?Ellis had never told Harte the real reason behind thepunishment.He was embarrassed by his own mistake, but he alsodidn t want Harte to think he had betrayed the master.Despitewhatever difficulties they were facing at the moment, Harte wasand would always be loyal to William first. Not at all.I liked him very much.It& it hurt to see him go.But I don t blame Sir [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]