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. Ah! Now there s a good way of putting it.Thank you, Hosea. Hawkins scannedand pointed. Jael, you look as if you have something to say. Yessir, Sergeant.I m a lot more scared of great pain than of dying.Isuspect that lying out there in terrible pain, with maybe my innards rippedopen and the flies buzzing, I d be crying out to God to take me fast as hecan.Page 92ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html Good point, Hawkins said, thinking he d as soon it hadn t come up. But ifit comes down to it, in combat you ll all have something in your aid kit thatwill greatly deaden the pain.Jael continued before Hawkins could call on someone else. And something else,Sergeant.There are things Iwant to do before I die.Have children, bring them up, watch them grow.Maybeeven be a grandmother.Hawkins nodded. A good wish to have; a good ambition.But to enjoy it, ithelps to have a safe place to live.There are lots of people who chose to stay on New Jerusalem many withchildren and they re a lot more likely to see their children murdered thangrow up.While those who left with children.a labor camp s a hard placeto raise a family.But when the war is over, and if we win it, things willwork out for them. The fact is, the invaders have changed everything for us.I have a wife andtwo children back in NorthAmerica.In a city called Madison, by a large beautiful lake.There s a goodchance I ll never see them again, butI ll be doing what I can to keep them safe. Sergeant Hawkins? It was Isaiah Vernon again. Yes, Isaiah? Where do Sikhs believe they go when they die?Don t get into that, Arjan, Hawkins warned himself.It ll dilute the subject we re here for, and maybe generate contention.He would, he decided, give them a generality, something uncomplicated butbasically valid. Isaiah, he said,  think of it as returning to the loving arms of God.When 2nd Platoon got back to the company area, there wasn t any realdiscussion about their evening.A few comments, but no actual discussion.Infact, the hut was more quiet than usual.Jael Wesley was the first to take her toiletries bag and head for the latrineto brush her teeth.When she was almost there, she met Isaiah Vernon on hisway to the hut.On impulse she stopped him. Isaiah, she said,  can we talk? Privately somewhere?His eyes widened. What about? he asked cautiously. I don t want to stand out here and talk about it.Where can we go that sprivate?For a long moment he stood silently.What would Esau think? Jael was so prettyand so nice, more than once he d caught himself drifting into a fantasy abouther.A guilty fantasy.It was well, he d told himself, that they trained sohard and had so little time to think. The dayroom, he said at last. Thatmight be all right.She knew where it was, though she d never been inside it.She led off, Isaiahfollowing.No one else was there, and they sat down opposite each other at areading table. It s about agreeing to be turned into a warbot, she said. If someone sbadly wounded and going to die.He stared at her, then realizing he needed to respond, he nodded. I m thinking about signing, she said.His mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out for several seconds. That ssomething you need to talk toEsau about, not me. I will.Before I make any decision anyway.The reason I want to talk to youis, you were studying to be a speaker.So you must have read and reread allthe books, and thought about them a lot.And the first thing I need to know is.She groped, clarifying her thoughts. Like I told Sergeant Hawkins, I m afraidof great pain.And I don t trustPage 93ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlmyself to be signing for the right reason: to help out in the war.I mightjust want to be rescued from great pain, or not spend the rest of my life allcrippled up.You see.But God might want me to experience those things.Tosuffer in those ways.Isaiah s expression changed, showing not worry now, but focus, and his answer,when it came, was expressed as a speaker might have phrased it. Jael, heanswered,  you ve read that sometimes God tests people, as in the case of Job,and Abraham.But there s no sign that he d have punished them if they dfailed. But what about suicide? Suicide? If I caused my crippled body to die, on purpose and ahead of its time, wouldthat be suicide? And if my brain got cut out and bottled, then when Godgathers the blessed to rise, and if I qualified, would I be resurrected as awarbot, or a person?Isaiah frowned not in disapproval but in thought, then shook his head. Firstof all, all I can tell you is how it seems to me.The Testaments don t speakof that, nor does Elder Hofer sContemplations.But it seems to me a warbot a person.Because it has a soul.And as forresurrection If a person gets eaten by a tiger, his flesh is becomes tigerflesh, but he won t be resurrected as a tiger. Jael shook her head at that,rejecting.Isaiah continued. And martyrs that were burned at the stake won tbe resurrected as smoke and ashes.Nor cripples as cripples.God wouldn tresurrect them all humped over or twisted, or short an arm or leg.He watched her thoughtful eyes.She was even prettier than he d allowedhimself to notice before.Finally she nodded. Thank you, Isaiah, she said. You ve been a big help. Then she got up and left, leaving him sitting there.Feeling guilty, because he hadn t been entirely honest with her.It seemed tohim they wouldn t be resurrected in a body at all.He d thought that when hewas a child, and had gradually come to believe that when the time came, folkswould have no interest in bodies.They d just be souls.Which of course brought up a lot of questions about the Testaments themselves.That was why he seldom let himself think about such things.The thing to dowas trust in the Lord, and hope God would forgive his errors.Elder Hofer and his own father had always stressed that God was love.Three more trainees of 2nd Platoon went to the orderly room that evening andsigned warbot agreements.JaelWesley was not one of them; she wasn t ready yet, if she d ever be [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]