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.” Can we try for some originality, please? Stay away from clichés such as this.Try to upload a clear, recent photo of yourself.If you don’t have one ask a friend to take a few, preferably outside on an overcast day (too much sun can make a photo harsh; cloudy days make for better photographs).Avoid taking a mobile phone photo in front of the bathroom mirror; this comes off as a bit tawdry and cheap.Also avoid appearing shirtless or wearing sunglasses; women want to see your eyes, and most want you to convey a little class, which going shirtless does not, no matter how good you think you look.Have several photos in different situations: one from a wedding you attended (so you are dressed up), one with a group of friends (to show you are social, though not one of you chugging a beer!), something casual, and something sporting.Have head shots as well as body shots.Spend some time describing your positive attributes, your hobbies, goals for the future, and what you hope to find in a partner.Seriously, spend some time at this.The more detailed you are, the better.Women are more likely than men to actually read a profile in its entirety.This may seem obvious, but many guys are guilty of this faux pas: do not upload or send nude photos of yourself, unless you are on an Adult/XXX site where people expect it.On regular dating sites, women are put-off by what they term as vulgar shots, and generally will not reply to any guy that sends them such a photo.Your profile name and title should stand out, and convey mystery and masculinity.And as with almost all social interactions, using humor can enhance your profile.Interestingly, you can also use humor to weed out humorless individuals.For example, in my online profile under the category “What I like to do on a first date” I wrote: “After we have a coffee, I may recruit you for a non-violent crime spree.” Most women found this funny, but a few wrote to ask if I was joking or not.Your Facebook page can also act as a potential gateway to romance with female acquaintances (or friends of friends on Facebook).The same rules apply for keeping your profile upbeat and having a variety of photos.Speed DatingSpeed dating has become popular in the last few years, and is touted as a way for the busy professional to meet a potential partner.Some speed dating events only use age as a criteria for attending (so the attendees are roughly in the same age group), while others are more definitive, targeting university graduates or even specific religions or ethnic groups.The basic premise is to have about a dozen men and a dozen women in a reserved area of a lounge or upscale restaurant.The women are always seated at a table, while the men rotate from one table to another, in sequential order, speaking to each woman in turn for about ten minutes.At the ten minute mark the hostess bangs a gong to indicate it is time to rotate to the next woman.Both male and female participants have cards on which to write the name of each person they speak with, along with a Yes or No checkmark.At the end of the evening, the cards are returned to the hostess, who compiles the results of the card checkmarks.Should one or both people say No, there is no matchup.Should both say Yes, the hostess sends an email with mutual contact information.Speed dating looks interesting on paper, but there are several problems with it.First, while it may be possible to mingle for a time before or after the event, during the event itself you are only given ten minutes to converse with each ‘date,’ so if you are the type of person that needs warm up time to get your nerves under control, you may not be presenting your best self in that ten minutes.Also, the one or two most attractive or charismatic members of each gender attending tend to get the most hits on the scorecards, perhaps to the exclusion of most of the other attendees.Finally, as with any random group of a dozen people, the odds of any of them being what you judge as attractive is fairly low.However, I suggest you try speed dating because it can be excellent practice for your interaction with women.Don’t go in thinking you must perform well or in hope of finding a girlfriend.Go in for the conversation and body language practice it will offer you.Try changing your body language and tonality from one woman to the next, and see how they react.Pickup ArtistsCourtship is a complex social behavior that very few guys are naturally good at, and since there are so many stages to the process it’s no surprise men fail, even some of those that aren’t particularly shy.You need to make an approach (online or in person), get through the telephone stage, proceed to the first in-person date, and then be subject to her post-date evaluation.And of course within each stage there are progressive steps in which you are required to build interest and attraction.You need to be at least competent at every stage for there to be a second date (or even a first date).Since courtship behaviors are mostly learned, if you are struggling it makes sense to seek help from those that might be more knowledgeable.There are books and seminars on how to make you more presentable and marketable in the job world, so why would there not be similar offerings for men who need help with dating?In Assignment #7 we discussed talking to women who have attracted your interest.I gave a few example openers and discussed adding humor to the interaction.Now that we are actually talking to women and engaging them in conversation, it is worth going into the realm of the Pickup Artist, and discussing things they might be able to teach us.The Pickup Artist (PUA) has gained a lot of notoriety in the last few years, largely due to their heavy presence on the internet, through high-profile interviews on talk shows, and in bestselling books such as, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.There’s a lot of PUA jargon, so bear with me here.Many critics dismiss PUAs as charlatans preaching false hope to Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs).They point out that some of the techniques promoted are questionable at best and unethical at worst, such as tossing veiled insulting remarks (Negs) towards attractive women (thus increasing your value, or rather, reducing her value from her own perspective), employing Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques (NLP – suggestive or leading words) to subliminally boost your attractiveness, and Peacocking (wearing outrageous or unusual clothing or accessories) to make yourself stand out [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]