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.I grinned, leaning down and letting my fingerswork over the knots on the back of his gown while mymouth worked over the tendons and muscles of hisneck.His heavy breath burst my body up and down intime to his heart.I rose with him, I fell with himalways together.Pulling the last tie free, I slid the gown up and overhis arms, pulling it up through my legs and over his bodyuntil it had joined my discarded clothes on the floor.It was working.I felt nothing but the here andnow.I felt nothing but Jude his body, his love, and hisneed.His hands returned to my backside, lifting it andsliding it back.I could feel him against me, just waitingfor my final acceptance.Judging to see if this was reallythe perfect moment.The place in time where Jude and Iwould mark this last passage of intimacy.I was so ready for this moment in time I could feelit throbbing my every nerve to life. You know, yourdoctor said you were supposed to stay relaxed andrest, I said, smiling down on him where his face was asexcited as it was tortured. I wouldn t say this counts asrest and relaxation.His hands slid up my body, skimming up mybreasts and molding beneath my jaw.Holding my facein his gentle hands, the lines and muscles of his facesmoothed. Luce.I love you.This is exactly what Ineed right now.Doctor s orders be damned.My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, mysternum was starting to ache.This was it.The greenlight.Yet I also knew in this moment that a red light wason the horizon and it was because of that glimpse atcruel realty I lifted myself above him. This? I implied, bracing my hands on his chest.His heart thrust against them.He nodded, running his thumbs down my jaw. This.And then I lowered myself onto him, letting himconsume me every way he could.He groaned below me as his hands fell back to myhips. This? I breathed, not able to catch it as I movedabove him again.We both winced from the separation.His fingers curled into my hips, sliding them backdown over him.The heart rate monitor was reallyscreaming now, barely able to keep up with Jude. Damn this thing, he breathed, his forehead liningas I moved above him again.Tearing at his chest, heripped the wires from his chest, chucking them to thefloor.He did the same with his IV. There, he said, twisting below me, rocking meover until I was on my back beside him. Nothing iscoming between us, he said, nuzzling into my neck ashe rocked over me.I was vaguely aware the heart ratemonitor was now screaming some sort of warning, butwhen Jude s hips rocked into mine, his moan gettinglost inside me as he kissed me to the beat our hips werecreating, there was nothing else but him.His tongue rocked into me, followed by his hips,while he fitted his entire body against mine.He wasn tonly making love to me   he was possessing me.There was nothing I wanted more than him,nothing I wouldn t be willing to sacrifice.Nothing mylife felt more dependent upon than this man movinginside of me in every way a person could enter another.Separating his mouth from mine, his heavy breathcame just outside my ear.I could feel the sheen ofsweat covering his face, mixing with mine.Moving inside me again, deeper this time, I almostscreamed.I was so close I doubted I would last onemore. I m not letting you go, Luce, he whispered, hisvoice tight. I won t let you leave.You re mine, hebreathed, sinking his teeth into my ear as his hipsflinched against mine once more.And that was it.My body trembled against his, myhand reaching for the metal bedrail to brace myself.Hecontinued moving inside of me, his beat quickening asmy body clenched around him.His hand joined minebraced over the bedrail and, as he followed me downthe forgetting reality path, his fingers wove throughmine, squeezing them before his body collapsed againstmine. Damn, Luce, he said, his head rising and fallingagainst my chest.My thoughts exactly. How do you feel? I asked,trying to bring my heart rate down.It wasn t having anyof it. How s your head? My head s fine, he said, winding his armsaround my back. It s my goddamn heart that s aboutready to bust something.I started laughing, feeling as close to euphoric as asnarky, natural pessimist could be.He joined in, hislaughter vibrating against me.And then the door exploded open as the samekind-faced nurse rushed in, her expression lined withconcern.Her eyes landed on the flat-lining machine first,then on where Jude rested bare ass naked over me.The worry lines faded from her face as she blessed uswith a very parental expression.Walking over to themonitor, she shut the screaming thing off before turningand heading out of the room. At least you died and went to heaven, she saidin an amused tone before closing us back inside theroom. Yes, Jude said into my chest, his laughterdimming. I most certainly did. Too bad our celestial vacay didn t last a littlelonger, I said, running my fingers over his shaved head.His body tensed in my hold as I felt that smilecurve into the side of my breast. Who says we can tmake a return trip? he said, lifting himself over meagain.I didn t have a chance to reply with my answerreality before his mouth and body moved into mineagain.CHAPTER SIXTEENJude was sleeping the slumber of a happy manbeside me.His crooked smile was still a ghost on hisface as his arms held me like vices.Even after a secondhandrail bracing, body trembling, grit your teeth arounda scream, roll in a hospital bed, I hadn t been able tofall asleep.Jude had no trouble.In fact, my heart beat hadn trecovered fully before he d fallen asleep.So I d beenawake for six hours, staring at the man curled aroundme, more confused than I d ever been before.Howcould we be wrong for each other after one more verybig part of a relationship just proved how very right wewere for one another? And why, no matter what weseemed to do, did things not want to work out for us?My flight was leaving in less than two hours.Ididn t have my bag with me, and there would be noway I d be able to drive to my dorm to get it and makeit back before my plane had already landed in sunnysouth Arizona where my family was spending Christmaswith my grandparents.Thankfully when I d booked the ticket last month,I guessed I d be at Jude s game the Saturday before Iflew out and planned on staying at his place that nightbefore driving to the airport.My plans certainly hadn tfactored in a hospital bed, or clenched fingers runningdown cool metal bed rails, but if I left now, at least Icould still make my flight.I couldn t wake him.I couldn t let him know I wasleaving because he wouldn t let me go.Or he d buy aticket and come along with me.And one part of me very much wanted that tohappen [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]