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. I knew you would never hurt my Ismet.But I also could see youwere& untouched.When attractive customers flirted with you, male or female, youwere oblivious. He put a hand on the wall beside her, subtly crowding her. Iwanted you. Tahir  I wanted to force my way through your walls so you would see me.Heart pounding, she raised her chin. You ve proven you can get to me. Good, he said.He stepped back. After you, my lady.* * *Seri scrubbed herself quickly and left the baths, catching one speculative lookfrom Ismet.She needed her work, the soothing escape she d discovered as a child.She needed to be away from her men, just away from them so she could be herself,so she could be safe from what she was feeling.She was sitting at her desk with her head in her hands, unable to concentratewhen Mericle entered.The older woman took one look at her and closed the doorsoftly behind her, coming to sit on Seri s couch. Do you want to talk about it?Seri snorted. No.Except I hate being confused. You have not one man, but two; it s to be expected.Seri sat back in her chair. Yes. You said they pleased you.That they didn t hurt you. Mericle s lipstightened. No, they don t hurt me.Not exactly. Seri jerked her shoulders. They makeme want things I never thought I d want.I m not sure I like that.Mericle nodded. No, I imagine not, she said in a neutral tone.Seri frowned at her. You ve been on your own for a long time, your own boss.In control.A Pastry Princess 87Seri gave the pile of paperwork she had to get to a morose look.That was thecrappy part about owning a business.And if she didn t get to it, it grew to mammothsize.And yet, she couldn t forget Ismet s face when she d treated him to clothing ofhis choice.Because she d been working and saving for so long, she d been able to dothat. I was in control. She sighed. You still are, if you want to be.She looked a question at her friend. Seri, why don t you go out on a date with your men?Seri opened her mouth, closed it. A date.But they re only in my life so I canhave a child.That s all this is. She got up, paced back and forth.Mericle watched her and calmly folded her hands. I doubt it.You chose to freethem.They chose to stand with you against the count.It hardly seems like a drylittle arrangement to me.Her throat tightened. I want&  What do you want? Mericle asked her very softly. Tell me.Say the words. I want& to truly matter to them, Seri admitted.Tears stung her eyes, but sheswallowed them down. It s stupid.I haven t known them that long.The little frown between Mericle s brows smoothed. I m so glad you can admitit.And& I think you ve been ready for a relationship. You thought I might not admit my feelings? Seri sat back down on her chair. I think it s very hard for you to admit needing someone.Which is againwhy& no relationship!Seri looked out the window, and her lips curved as she saw Ismet was trying tointerest Tahir in pastry-making.Ismet was wearing an apron, happily cuttingdough while Tahir looked& horrified.She giggled, and at that moment the dark warrior looked up, met her gazethrough the glass.She locked eyes with him, remembering what he d told her in thebaths that morning.88 Jan IrvingI want you.She took a deep breath. How do I date them? I mean& what do we do? Youknow I ve never dated before.Mericle stroked her upper lip. Well, dating is supposed to help you to get toknow each other.I suggest just doing something new, something that interests you,and seeing how it goes.Seri s hand went to her collar. I noticed that when I saw you this morning, Mericle said, leaning forward. Didn t it have some color before? Yes.It, uh, got hot to the touch, and then it changed color.Maybe it shortedout, Seri said. I was going to ask you if you knew.Mericle got up and came around Seri s desk to take a closer look. No, I venever seen one do that.It s not exactly blank& more a pearl color.I don t like it,Seri. Um. You should get an appointment with a tech to find out what happened to it.Seri shifted uncomfortably. I m not sure I want to know. Her mother had hadtwo miscarriages and found it hard to get pregnant.Maybe Seri took after her.Mericle gave her a disapproving look. You can t bury your head in the sand,Seri.That s not what I taught you.You need to get this checked out. I know. Seri dropped her head. I ll do it soon.I was thinking I might have tomove. Move! But that s great news.I always thought that condo was too small.Definitely a stag residence. It is too small for all three of us.Tahir s still on the verge of throwing out myshoes.I think only Ismet has prevented it, Seri said.Proof that Tahir wasdefinitely from a barbarian world. But I love my neighbors.A Pastry Princess 89 Well, you could look into a little house close by so you don t lose that, Mericlesaid. I d be happy to join you and Delilah when you go house hunting, and I m sureDelilah s young beau would be happy to fix anything up for you if it needed work.Seri s lips curved. So you ve noticed Rupert likes her as well? Only Delilah is oblivious, and in her case, I think it s because she chooses tobe oblivious. She s missing out, Seri surprised herself by saying. Oh, is she? Mericle s eyes were twinkling. I thought you admired her forliving such an independent life.Seri rubbed her hands down her powder blue slacks, which she d teamed withan amethyst top a similar shade to her eye color. Maybe men aren t quite as bad asI thought.Possibly worth putting up with. Possibly worth all the confusion?Seri gave a small smile. Possibly.* * * A date, Tahir said in the same blank tone that Seri had used a few minutesbefore with Mericle. Why?Fortunately, knowing Tahir, she d rehearsed what she was going to say next. It s a nice way to get to know each other s interests.Tahir grunted, looking unimpressed.Seri looked at Ismet, who was running a finger over his lips.She had to curban impulse to kiss that mouth.She shouldn t show her men affection in public.Itwasn t done. I like the idea, Ismet said.He hefted himself onto a free work table, flour onhis hands and face like sparkling white dust.Seri thought he definitely looked goodenough to eat, and he seemed to like working here at Pastry Princess.Looking athim, an unnamed feeling bubbled up in Seri.90 Jan Irving I have a list of activities we could explore, she said, handing Ismet aninteractive memo book. I thought you would both fill in interests, and we d eachchoose one date night devoted to something we like.Now Tahir looked interested. Trembarian kickboxing! I hear they sometimesfight almost to the death. Um.That sounds  Like Tahir, Ismet interrupted. Maybe we ll find something a little lessbloody. I thought a date was supposed to be fun, Tahir said. What s not fun aboutsomeone being pounded in the ring? We ll find something you like to do, Seri said, reaching out timidly to touchTahir s bare arm.She dropped her hand before she made contact.She saw his sharpgaze track the movement. I thought we might attend a concert this evening [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]