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.I felt a chill as I quietly took inthe colorless, odorless, lifeless place this house was.Because that iswhat it was: a house—not a home.Sebastian found me in the hall, Bro giving me a hapless grin anddisappearing up the stairs.I couldn’t help but want to pull Sebastianinto my arms again, to console him, to keep him tightly next to me untilthe world tilted back into a safer orbit.For once I didn’t resist my urgeor silence my senses.Without a sound, I embraced Sebastian again.Heslid into my warmth and peace and just held on, letting out a contentedsigh that improved my day a hundredfold.I moved away ever so slightly so that I could inspect his face andso that he could read my lips.“That’s why you learned to read lips sowell,” I said, and he frowned a bit, but I felt the fear and shame theretoo as I was closing in on the truth.“Because your parents neverbothered to learn sign language.” I didn’t have to make it into aquestion.I’d seen his mother speak to him with only her lips.Shehadn’t even tried to move her hands.Bro gestured strongly when hespoke, a habit he’d grown accustomed to over the years, and heprobably wasn’t even aware of it anymore.There hadn’t been even ahint of that kind of casual mannerism in their mother.“Shit, Sebastian,that’s fucking cold.”Sebastian shrugged.“They’ve always been cold.Nothing newanymore.”“Still, it’s not right.” I meant every stinking word.“And just who made you the authority over how I raise mychildren?”Damn, she was everywhere.Like some kind of secret police.Isuppressed a growl.I was going to argue because I wanted to, and188Susan Lainebecause defending Sebastian and Bro was becoming second nature tome, and just because it was the right fucking thing to do.But Sebastian stopped me.He was staring at his mother butholding on to the back of my jacket, crunching it in his fierce tug.“Mom, I want Bro to come back to Washington with me.To live withme and go to school there.”Whoa, unexpected.And so fucking brilliant I nearly choked rightthen and there.What I did expect was for an argument to ensue.A family fight,escalating into a conflict involving police officers and lawyers andcourt appearances and negotiations.Because of this experientialinstinct, I was wholly unprepared for what happened.“Fine.” She shrugged impassively.“I’m sure he’ll be happierthere with you.” Then she turned around on her heels and walked away.Just bloody walked away from two sons who were perfect in every wayimaginable.I hated that woman with a vengeance.I was….I don’t know what I was at that moment.Numb, I guess.Incredulous, to be sure.Angry? Yeah, definitely angry—and yet, I wasrelieved.Sebastian and Bro could leave this sad, depressing, abysmalpit of despair and coldness and death that threatened to suck them downand kill them within.They could be free now.I stared at Mrs.Sumner’s back as she walked away, talking topeople as if she hadn’t just figuratively and literally turned her back onher two sons.So it was a combination of factors this woman despisedand was ashamed of: Sebastian being deaf, being gay, being a volunteercop….Jesus, what else? Loving his baby brother enough to want himin his life forever? His trusting, sunny disposition in life? Moving awayto another city? No, that she liked.Him far away.I couldn’t for the lifeof me understand how someone, anyone, could not like someone likeSebastian, whose inner and outer beauty aligned to a T, and someonelike Bro, whose humor and smarts matched up perfectly with hisyouthful prowess and enthusiastic glee.Well, her loss.Because she may not have wanted them—but I did.It would bemy gain.SOUNDS OF LOVE189I saw Sebastian was still reeling from watching his mother giveup so lightly someone he treasured more than anything in the world.Icupped his chin gently and turned him to face me, almost not daring tobreathe, I was so nervous.Despite his own inner pain, he saw myexpression and was immediately concerned.God, how I loved him.“Where’s your room?” I asked, wanting and needing someprivacy for this.Quietly Sebastian nodded and led me up the stairs to a room inthe back of the house.The door had barely closed when I spun himaround and pushed him against the door, capturing his sweet mouth in abreathtaking kiss into which I poured everything I felt.He respondedquickly to my amorous advances, opening up and letting me in.A delicate cough came from behind us.I turned in a flash and saw Bro sitting on the edge of Sebastian’sbed, waving his hand like a tourist saying hi to his folks, blushing morethan a little.“Sorry, Jordan… I like Bas’s room more than mine.”I chuckled ruefully.“It’s okay, Bro.I actually wanted to see theboth of you.” I herded Sebastian to sit on the bed beside his brother andyanked a stool from the corner to sit on as I faced them both.Jesus, wasit hot in here? I clasped my shirt collar to get some fresh air in mylungs and on my skin—neither one working.Fuck, Jordan, just do italready! At least my inner self had some balls left.“Guys, I-I….” Icleared my throat and took a deep calming breath.“Okay, Bro, I don’tmean to be blunt or cruel here, but your mom’s okayed you living inWashington with your brother, and I—”“Bas, is that true?” Bro yelped, turning to look at his brother, paleblue eyes wide as saucers.Damn, this wasn’t going like I’d hoped.Butbefore Sebastian could even reply to confirm or to deny, Bro lunged athim and hugged him so hard I thought his older brother might breakapart [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]