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."Maybe I should thank her; if she hadn't done that I wouldnever have borne him.Other children, but not him." She tried to keep it light, suspected she wasn'tsucceeding.She looked up through her eyelashes at his face.There was understanding; she could almost see the pieces fall into place in his mind, his eyes showing itclear, a flicker or pain, then sorrow, for her.The breath she let out was not as calm as she wanted topretend.She hadn't realized she was holding it."Atzathratzas was Lixand's father," he said, barely louder than a whisper.It was only half-questioning.Then he offered her his hand, palm up.Not reaching, but leaving her the choice to take or not.Careful not to scratch him, she laid her hand in his.The ridge of his sword-callus lay warm under the softskin of her thumb, somehow comforting, like Shkai'ra's.These hands would never move anyonearound like a puppet, or a doll."You said he was almost ten."She cleared her throat, making a scratchy sound."Dah.He was born in the Year of the Iron Ri,summer ten now, he'd be.""How old are you?""Twenty and four." She looked at her hand in his, the scratches on his nails and the scrape on a knuckle,as if they were the most important things in the world.Then she raised her eyes to his, making them ascalm as she could.He was looking beyond her, beyond the wall of the cart, far away, eyebrows ridged black overnarrowed eyes, lips pressed into a thin line.Then the eyes came back, and he mock-spat, hard, in thedirection of Arko.He's already closer than I let most people get, ever,she thought.Another part of her thought:that'sthe first bitterness I've ever seen from him, against them.Pain hung with claws from the inside of her ribs, drawn by his sympathy.She shrugged, casual likeShkai'ra, forced the words."I lived."Does he do this to everyone in this army? Even every specialoperative? "I & " Her throat froze up, the worse since she'd told Shkai'ra, who hadn't made much of it,despite her efforts."I can heal." Swallowing the hurt in her throat, she raised her eyes to his, forced themsteady."Oh, yes," he said lightly, as if it were a given."You can.You will.It's just difficult and takes a long time.I know."I know.The word echoed in her ears, like a bell, significant, like a drop of blood in water.He does.Itcame to her:he was a slave of Arko.Most of his scars were hidden under near-priceless armor, now, but she remembered them, the marksof the ten-beaded whip, the brand burns.Why am I thinking he wouldn't have got the rest of theusual treatment? That sort of thing doesn't only happen to the poor; there are shits in everyquarter.He just ran up against the richest shit of all, the Imperator.A tale she had heard at a firecame hard back into her mind: that he'd suffered the worst tortures at the hands of Kurkas.Personally.Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlNo one else would have had the nerve , she thought.Koru  what must it have felt like, while at thesame time, he knew, the Arkan army was doing the same thing to his country ?She hadn't thought much about his grudge; now she realized why.Off the field, he never showed it.Notso much as a snarl or a hiss or an icy-eyed stare; the worst he'd get was snide.He would just let dropstories of his sufferings there, now and then, understated and casual as if commenting on the weather, aninstant's twinge, on his face at the most.And so, Megan thought,you don't catch the full meaning until afterwards, perhaps lying in yourtent at night ,when the tale won't leave your head, like blood-taste in your mouth, but rattlesaround this way and that like a dagger in a bucket, while you try to sleep.And the only thing youcan do is take it out onto the field next day, and carve out some Arkan's eyes with it.Even his ownpain, he turned to advantage."Megan." His soft voice called her back to now; those dark eyes with their sad lines were fixing hers,gentle, but firm with his "I mean this" look.His tone went old-school Yeoli again, almost ceremonial."Ifthere's anything you can think of that I could do to help, tell me, and I will do it."Shkai'ra would have leaped at that offer.Her fingers were trembling still.And dragged you into thenearest bed or bushes.He looked puzzled; she must have shown something on her face, she knew."And you will owe me nothing for it," he went on."I wouldn't look for return." She picked at the cushion,with its bright-woven strands of wool; a twitch of her hand poked a hole into it.He just shrugged to herapology, saying, "It'll be fixed."I'm avoiding the point.She looked up."Thank you.Even though the merchant in me is cringing at thatowe me nothing part.Thank you.Some of my& " The word came hard & "fears, I deal with every day.Some I've been trying to ignore.I would never ask you to help me with those.""I said anything.I'm not known for not meaning what I say." Now his eyes were silk, with steelunderneath."Koru!" She shook herself, as if out of a spell that had wrapped around her without her noticing, like asecond skin."What am I thinking? There's only one thing you could do, and I can't ask it.It would be toomuch of a risk, of clawing thesemanakraseye into bloody shreds" She held up her claws.It occurred to her just as the words came out that they could be taken as a challenge.But he onlyshrugged and said, "I risk worse out on the field every battle.But I still go.When I was on HaiuMenshir& " Something caught in his throat, and his voice went even more quiet, hardly more than awhisper."My healer found a woman, to help me withmy trouble.She asked no return.What she gave, Iwould pass on.If you wish: in this I wish what you wish."Even Shyll had never told her that [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]